Six years ago, I published 10 Rules for Healthy Close Friendships and it’s still one of my most popular posts. This tells me a lot of people are looking for advice on navigating adult friendships.

One thing I hear often is how hard it is to make new friends as an adult. Some even think it’s impossible. I don’t agree. You can make close, meaningful friends at any age, as long as you want to and are willing to make the effort.

As kids, making friends was easy. You saw the same people every day at school, and friendships just kind of happened. As adults, it’s a little trickier. Life gets busy with work, family, and everything else, and sometimes you’ve outgrown your circle or drifted apart from people after school or major life changes.

Making new friends is still possible with clarity and intention. Start by asking yourself: what kind of friends do I want? A true-blue best friend? Casual brunch pals? Party friends? A tribe to travel with?

Then, think about what can fit into your life. How much time and energy can you realistically invest in these new friendships? Personally, I value quality over quantity. As an introvert, I prefer a few close friends I can really get deep with. But if you’re someone who loves having a big, diverse network, lean into that. The point is to get clear on what you want so you can take the steps to make it happen.

Here are 10 tips to help you build meaningful new friendships as an adult. Read to the end for ✨bonus manifesting tips.✨

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1. Show Up Where Your People Are

Friendships start with proximity. Join a community that aligns with your interests—hiking, chess, basketball, volunteering, etc. I recommend this over going to general social or networking events. Don’t force yourself to go to something you’ll dread. If you hate running, don’t join a running club. If reading isn’t your thing, skip the book club.

Once you find a group that feels like a good fit, keep showing up. Even in big cities, where people can seem standoffish, consistency builds trust. Over time, people will notice your presence, and you’ll start forming connections. They might even ask about you if you miss a meetup.

2. Say Yes More Often

If a friend or acquaintance invites you to something outside your comfort zone, consider going anyway. You don’t have to say yes to everything—if you know you’ll absolutely hate it, it’s okay to decline. But if it sparks even a little curiosity, show up. You never know who you might meet or what connections might grow from saying yes.

3. Rediscover Old Connections

The friends you’re looking for might already be in your life. Is there someone in your community or workplace you see often but haven’t gotten to know yet? Or an old friend you’ve drifted away from? Sometimes a small effort is all it takes. Invite them for coffee, a casual lunch, or even a group hangout to test the waters and see if they’re open to kindling or rekindling a friendship.

4. Make the First Move

Most people crave meaningful friendships but may be too shy to reach out. Be the one to take the first step. Start small with a compliment, a joke, or a question about their weekend plans. If you feel bold, invite someone for coffee or lunch.

5. Don't Force It

If someone declines your invitations more than once, take a step back. It’s likely not personal—they may already have a full social plate or other priorities. Instead of dwelling on it, focus your energy on people who show genuine interest in spending time with you. Friendship shouldn't be one-sided.

6. Make Friendship a Two-Way Street

If a potential friend invites you to hang out and you’re unavailable, suggest an alternative time or activity. Consistently turning people down without counteroffering shows you’re not as invested in the friendship. This goes for the friend as well. Healthy relationships are built on mutual interest and effort.

7. Leverage Online Platforms

Meetup, Eventbrite, Nextdoor, and social media apps, as well as apps like Bumble BFF, are good starting points for finding like-minded people. Join group chats to keep yourself in the mix. If online gaming is your thing, I've heard of people making friends playing together. Use online platforms to your benefit, but when the time feels right, move those connections offline.

8. Host Something Small

Hosting doesn’t have to mean throwing a big, elaborate party. Try something simple like a game night, a cozy movie marathon, or a laid-back Sunday potluck. Invite a mix of friends and acquaintances, and encourage them to bring someone new. These casual gatherings can naturally grow into a welcoming network of connections over time.

9. Value Situational Friendships

Not every friendship needs to cover all aspects of your life. For example, I have pickleball friends. While we don’t always share much beyond the court, we always have plenty to talk about—pickleball strategies. These situational friendships, built around shared activities or interests, can be surprisingly fulfilling. They also offer opportunities to learn from people outside your usual close-knit circle.

10. Be Consistent

It's worth repeating that consistency is key. Friendships may take time and regular effort to grow. If you're disappointed that you showed up to book club once but left without a new best friend, keep showing up as long as you enjoy the activity whether you make new friends or not. Even if it feels like no one notices you at first, you’re planting seeds for meaningful relationships to grow over time.

✨ Bonus: Manifesting Friendships

Manifesting starts with clarity.

• Picture the kind of friends you want—their personalities, shared values, and the activities you’ll enjoy together.
• Then, focus on becoming the kind of person who would attract those friendships.
• Writing down the qualities and values you’re looking for can help clarify your vision.
• Show up authentically, stay open, and trust that the right people will find their way into your life.

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Do these tips resonate with you? What has worked for you when it comes to making new friends as an adult? Share your experiences in the comments below.

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